family life

Usually when I am unsure about something it is very helpful to discuss it with you all. I find myself today in this position..and that being said I have a question to ask. Is a family supposed to resemble a democracy or a hierarchy? Is it supposed to be representative, a system in which the children have a say in family matters and are in a considerable measure independent and equal to the parents... or is it supposed to be a system in which the father is always at the top, the mother follows, and then come the children, and where the father has the highest of authority?
Job 37:14-16
"Listen to this, Job; stop and consider God's wonders. Do you know how God controls the clouds and makes his lightning flash? Do you know how the clouds hang poised, those wonders of him who is perfect in knowledge?"
Father should always have the highest level of authority then the mother but the children should have a say in most things. But we are too young to do what really is best thus parents should be put at the same or similar level of authority.
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Why should the father have the highest level of authority? In fact is there even a need to have a "highest" authority? Shouldn't married couples be able to work things out without having one be in charge?
True! I think that the children should have a say in what happens, but should definitely not 'govern' themselves or have an equal share of deciding what happens. Also, the parents should have the same rank of authority. Why does the father need to be the highest?
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SURRENDER YOUR COOKIES OR DIE!!
I am on the SS as, well, shnoodlec. :)
The Bible says the father is the head of the house. Some people of course take it too the extreme but until now a days and in some places still, a man had to head up the house for works sakes.
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Ultimately I believe(like Blitz) that the father is the head of the home. And I don't think the kids should be equal to the parents at all, that could turn out disastrous. XD
It really COULD be disastrous if the kids got to decide! :yes:
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SURRENDER YOUR COOKIES OR DIE!!
I am on the SS as, well, shnoodlec. :)
I agree that children shouldn't have an equal say. Parents should trust them more and more as they grow up but I agree with you.

Where does the Bible say that spouses are not equal partners? And Blitz can you expand on what you mean by the man has to head up the house for works sake?
1 Corinthians 11:3
Genesis 3:16
Ephesians 5:22
Ephesians 5:23

^Verses referencing Man as the head of the household.
I think people always forget to read these verses in context.

1 Corinthians 11:11-12 "Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God."

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her."

I don't see the full context of these verses speaking to a hierarchy, I see it speaking to a relationship of mutual love and respect. I see these verses as a radical departure from the household codes of the time that they echo, not as timeless marriage advice. If we did that then why did we stop using the parts that talk about slaves relationships to their masters?
Those verses don't refute man as being head of the household, they're just saying that women are awesome too, and they are. :D I'm not saying that men should just do whatever they want and the women can't intervene, I'm saying that ultimately the man is the head of the household. A husband is kinda like your right-hand, and a wife is like your left hand. Both hands need each other, but(If you're right-handed) the right hand is the dominant hand.

I don't see the full context of these verses speaking to a hierarchy, I see it speaking to a relationship of mutual love and respect.


It's speaking to both. :) The Bible makes it very clear that the husband is the head. The Bible also makes it clear that the wife is to be loved, cherished, and respected.

I see these verses as a radical departure from the household codes of the time that they echo, not as timeless marriage advice.


God told Paul to tell people this. I'm not gonna argue. XD

If we did that then why did we stop using the parts that talk about slaves relationships to their masters?


Because apparently God didn't want to do that anymore. Again, I'm not gonna argue with that.
How do we know God didn't want slavery anymore? Did He tell us? Or did we change as the culture changed?
We changed as culture changed but another thing is that even the Bible provided punishment for a man that killed or beat his servant badly if you read the laws of the Old Testament God specifically designated rules for servant/slave care.
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Marriage is an amazing symbol of Christ and His bride (the church/body of Christ). Just as His bride submits to Him, I believe a wife should submit to her husband as the authority of the household. But I think "head of the household" can be greatly misunderstood. As the wife submits to the husband, the husband should value and respect her opinion. Marriage is all about working as a team, and it should reflect the love and humility of Christ always.
The Bible talks about children honoring their parents, and I believe this means honoring their decisions. I think the children should still get a say in certain matters, and if they don't agree with a parent's decision, they can politely appeal. But the parents should have the final say. No parents are perfect, and they're going to make mistakes, like every other human. But even so, when children respect their parents' decisions, they will reap blessings that they would not have otherwise (including the Romans 8:28 promise :) ). Parents should have more trust and respect in their children's opinions as they teach them how to think maturely, and as the children show responsibility. Even as adults, I've seen how people still respect their parent's advice and decisions, and the parents respect their children's knowledge and decisions. That is a great testimony to me of God's grace working in their lives.
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"Seven times a day do I praise thee because of thy righteous judgments." Psalm 119:164
So Blitz, I could have slaves today as long as I don't beat them? And that would be okay morally?

Sunshine, you make some good points. I just don't see these household codes as being universal truths meant forever. I think this article explains it better than I can: http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/four-in ... hold-codes
Morally yes. If they put themselves up for sale and you took good care of them made sure they had all they need, technically, yes. But also no because we are to obey those above us unless it interferes with worship of God.
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Well I think it's not morally okay, but now I understand where you're coming from; slavery is only wrong because of man made laws. God is a-okay with slavery.
Marriage is an amazing symbol of Christ and His bride (the church/body of Christ). Just as His bride submits to Him, I believe a wife should submit to her husband as the authority of the household. But I think "head of the household" can be greatly misunderstood. As the wife submits to the husband, the husband should value and respect her opinion. Marriage is all about working as a team, and it should reflect the love and humility of Christ always.


This. Agreed completely.

@Thirteenth: God said "Wives submit to your husbands". I don't see what's so confusing here.
God said owning slaves is okay, yet we've stopped that practice, why is that? Also read the article I cited to Sunny.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18 very clearly states that husbands are the head of the family. And I love the hand analogy, Metal15
We stopped practicing slavery because we were not doing it in a way that was honoring to God. We were not following His commandments regarding slavery, and so it became a practice no human should have to endure.
2 Corinthians 12:10

Your money your singleness marriage talent and time
They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine ~Lecrae

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